Last year, my husband brought me flowers on Mother’s Day. It wasn’t public yet that I was pregnant, so I certainly wasn’t expecting any attention. He had written me a very special card as well. I had mom and Mime’ over for dinner and they each also brought flowers. As I cooked, I worried about whether or not I could stomach what I was making. I was nervous often in those early days. The nausea…it’s hard to hide. Those are the longest 12 weeks of your life. I felt undeserving because I hadn’t done any
Mothering yet (although I was already suffering!)
Fast forward to this year, and my first Mother’s day. My first real one that is. I can’t believe my little one is five months old and that I am a mother. It feels like I waited for his arrival for years, and then he was born and now time is flying by. Each day is a gift. Each smile, each yawn, each time his little soft hand reaches up to pat my hair or plods along my face to find my mouth, I think how worth it all the struggling has been. Sure there was nausea, and discomfort, pain in abundance, then sleepless nights, outfits soiled and countless times I was soaked with spit up or peed on…the crying, the nerve-wracking days in NICU, the fussiness and poor timing of his hunger…but for each moment that is trying, ten are wonderful, five are amazing, and one is life-changing. [And there are a lot of trying moments.]
I never thought about this side of it before, but I’m really proud of myself. I feel as though I’m doing a good job. Of course Jacob would love me even if I weren’t, but I feel as though I’m doing well at this mothering thing so far. He makes it easy with those dimples and his easy smiles. Ahh love.
Here is a little trip down memory motherhood lane (it’s a short lane!)