Happy birthday to me

I had a birthday this weekend, and it was lovely but also bittersweet. I turned 33 with my family beside me, happy to be where I am in life, happy with those around me, except for one who is missing. It was hard to accept that riley wouldn’t be calling me, or writing me a funny card, or giving me one of his famous hugs. After more than a year, it’s still hard to accept. 

On to my day…it started with breakfast in bed from jacob. This consisted of a banana, a mandarin orange, and a jar of maraschino cherries. đŸ™‚


Morning snuggles and hugs from my little monkeys:


Then, we took Jacob to school and visited the baby chicks:


Jacob had told josh that he wanted to take me to Taco Bell for lunch, so josh had hidden some money in Jacob’s room for that purpose. 


Later that night we celebrated with pizza and cake, which Jacob adorned with candles:

He used so many candles that I knew he must think me very old indeed! But I counted them, and there weren’t as many as I had earned. đŸ˜‰
33 trips around the sun on this beautiful planet, and I am no closer to understanding why I am here. I am trying to soak it all up, learn, grow, and appreciate everything I can. I want less busyness for my 34th year, and I will aim to make better choices to work toward that. 

Aging is weird. You can’t stop it or slow it down. I don’t feel 33. I told josh that, after spending so long seeing my identity as a young person, it’s strange to see that slipping away. I am entering foreign territory, and no one can guide me, because each of us has to make her own path. 

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