To recap: my water has broken, I’ve had an epidural and I’ve dilated to 7. It’s been about 15 hours. Around this time, the epidural had all of my contraction pain under control, but I started to have some breakthrough pain – more like intense pressure – near my tailbone area. It continued to get worse and I was back to my yoga breathing and gripping the bed rail. [By the way, the deep, slow breathing I practiced in yoga really served to be a blessing during this process.] The journey from 7 to 10 centimeters of dilation happened very quickly, and before I knew it, my doctor was being called and the room was being prepped for labor. After all the time and lack of progress, and all the talk of a c-section, I was in disbelief that it was *actually happening*. There were blankets brought in for the baby, the lights were dimmed, and the doctor’s supply cart was rolled in. I started to push around 4:30 am (17 hours since arriving at the hospital). My doctor joined us as the baby’s head was pretty close.

I thought we were minutes from having a baby, and we probably should have been, but then each push brought no progress. The doctor worked on trying to move him out from my pelvic bone, and then started pushing him down from the top of my stomach. That area, right under my rib cage, hurt for days. With each push, the baby’s heart rate would plummet. I was given an oxygen mask and told that time was running out. We couldn’t keep him in distress much longer. Ironically, throughout all of the intense labor pain, they had been amazed at how well he had handled it. They kept telling me what a calm baby he was. His heart rate hardly changed with each contraction, even after hours of them. Something was wrong. My doctor was trying to move him from around my pubic bone and get his feet out from under my ribcage, but things weren’t changing, and we couldn’t risk his health for long.

Eventually, the doctor decided to use suction. He told me that the baby was stuck and I had one contraction with suction to get him out or we were going downstairs for a c section. Obviously I knew I’d be devastated to have worked that hard for nothing! It’s funny, in this process, you are trying as hard as you can, but of course the doctor and nurse will tell you to try harder with each push. I was exhausted, but this was my final chance and I was determined to give it everything I had. I pushed, the doctor pulled on the vacuum, and Josh says we were both shaking from the exertion. His head came out, and the cord was wrapped twice around his neck, which was causing the heart rate drop that was so troubling. The doctor unwound the cord, then pulled on Jacob’s body and he was born. He made a small cry and they whisked him away to clear his nose and mouth and hope for a louder cry. It never came. They poked and prodded him, rubbed him and jiggled him and he made nothing but small sounds. They wanted him to clear his lungs with a good cry and this quiet baby wouldn’t do it. It felt like they had him forever. I was worried, knowing that the hospital has a policy of instant skin-to-skin contact and they were working on him instead in the baby warmer. I kept asking if he was okay, and they were telling me that he seemed great, they just wanted him to cry. I honestly don’t know how long they had him because I was so out of it. That whole time is a blur.

Once they moved Jacob to the warmer, Josh stood with him, and reached into the warmer and said that Jacob grabbed his finger and held on. When they had finished with his Apgar score and decided that his coloring and respiration were great despite his lack of crying, they brought him to me and laid him on my chest. We had our first glimpse of one another. I couldn’t believe how perfect he was, how round his head was (I expected a cone head from all the pushing and being stuck). His head was really bruised and was bleeding from the suction, but honestly I have no regrets about that having to be used, because it enabled me to deliver him and brought him to us safely. We enjoyed our bonding time and when we were ready, our anxious families came in to meet him. He was, and continues to be, a calm and happy baby. He rarely cries, and when he does it’s not for long. He smiles at us routinely, and has adorable dimples. He makes the most adorable, soft little sounds and squeaks. We are so enjoying him!

Celebration dinner at the hospital