Jackson is three

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Trying something new–photos from the beach

I hope this works. Fingers crossed!

Photos from the first day of summer at Old Man’s Beach in Oceanside.


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You will not drown

I think I always believed that Christians were happier because their lives were better. This made me angry. It made me jealous. They seemed self-righteous to me, and like everything was going great for them all of the time. I still think that Christians are happier, but not because a Christian life is a prettier nor an easier one. In our digital age, we all put up a facade of perfection. The outward appearance of our lives is perfectly crafted, edited, and cropped. We control how the world sees us, and we want the view to be in sync with the desires we have for ourselves. I am guilty of this as well. I don’t want to wallow in self-pity, and so I don’t present the hard facts for the whole world to see. I don’t feel that the internet is the place for that. There is simply too much information to be found there, and each piece becomes less important in regard to this volume. When I tear the facade down, I want people to notice. I want to be brave and speak honestly when people need to hear what I have to say.

The truth is that my life has only gotten more difficult as my faith increased. I know people would like to tell me that God is testing or strengthening my faith with trials, but that’s not what the Bible tells me. Nor does the Bible say “follow Him and life will only be pleasant.” The world is a difficult place. We are not meant to be comfortable here. This beautiful, crazy, mixed-up place is not where we belong. In this knowledge I find my happiness. The knowledge that it won’t be like this forever. I won’t always have soul-crushing anxiety. I won’t always feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I won’t always ache with loss for my brother. My heart won’t always feel broken.

What the Bible does tell us is that storms will come. Why? Not because God wants to test us or hurt us but because of the reality that we live in a broken world, and bad things happen here. He doesn’t promise to protect us from the bad things, but He promises to support us when they do.

Because they do.

They will.

“When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭43:2‬ ‭NLT‬‬

You will go through rivers of difficulty.

You will not drown.

You will not be alone.

So, the true happiness that we have today comes from the knowledge that hard times will come, but we will not be alone. And for me, knowing there is an end to it: to death, sorrow, crying, and pain, helps me to feel hopeful in a rather dismal world.

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Kindergarten music performance

The music show was cute, cute, CUTE!

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What to do, what to do

Well the day has come. I am out of blog storage unless I spend $17 a month. I already pay to maintain the amount of storage I have, but I thought it renewed every year. I don’t know what to do! So I’ll be researching: maybe moving my blog to another host (scary? I don’t know how to do these things!), possibly monetizing this blog to pay for itself, or starting another and leaving this one here. I don’t really want to lose this blog for the excellent record of our lives it has been for the past…7 years? 8? But I also don’t want to pay the huge amount required to move forward.

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Field Trip Fun

I was lucky enough to be able to chaperone Jacob’s kinder class to the La Habra Children’s Museum for a field trip.

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Kindergarten Open House

The school year is coming to an end, and we got to take a look at Jacob’s classroom and some of the great work he’s been doing.

he had a checklist to give us a tour. This is the famous charting track behavior. When you are seen making a good choice, you clip yourself up (at the teacher’s prompting). A bad choice and you’ll have to clip your name

Down. Each color corresponds to points earned at the end of the day. Below is Ms. Tippets, Jacob’s teacher.

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What a sight.


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Get the scoop

In Jacobs class, he has lists of sight words organized into “scoops” by color. This week, he passed two lists, leaving only one scoop left for the year. The number of scoops they get during the year will be how many toppings they get in their last day of school ice cream party. We had two words he is not sure about on the pink list, but i think he might pass it tomorrow!

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Happy Mother’s Day

Today is a day that should not need a holiday. I feel as though I was aware of the importance of moms before I became one, but really, how could I have been? It’s a calling that, when diligently performed, requires sacrifice and service in such tangible ways, but in so many intangible ones as well. When you hear about dying to self in a sermon, I think the moms nod knowingly, as we have tasted one small ounce of what that means in mothering our children. I have a long way to go, and my reluctance to stop jacob from wanting to spoil me this morning is proof of that. 🙂 I suppose I felt as though I had earned one morning of spoiling.

On Saturday, my guys surprised me with beautiful flowers, which is always lovely.

I enjoyed Jacob’s handwritten note:

And a beautiful rose from my niece, Alexis.

My Mother’s day started with a handwritten “menu” of sorts, on which i was to check off what I wanted for breakfast in bed:

In case you don’t read kindergartener, he writes: “things that jacob can make” and with empty boxes for check marks: “cut up fruit,” “cereal” and “walk for bagels.”

He even jumped onto my bathroom counter to clean the mirror:

He scratched my arm and kissed me and insisted I stay in bed and rest. Daddy helped him prepare my cut up fruit and he fed me some, eating most of the banana slices while we talked.

We all walked to Panera for bagels, and Jacob held my hand. The kids presented me with their gifts: a jewelry box made by Jackie and a piece of art made by Jacob.

We came home to watch some family movies (slideshows from past years) and later that afternoon were off to Mimé’s to celebrate with dessert and family.

My little Mother’s Day gifts for the gals today:

Back home, we barbecued burgers with my mom and dad, and called it a night.

I am tired, and feeling extremely blessed. I still can’t believe I get to spend my days with these two. Every moment (okay almost every moment) is precious and transcendent and reminds me of all the good to be found in this crazy, often ugly world.

Motherhood is hard work, sure. The hours are long and the work is physically and emotionally draining. But it is a calling like no other, and when done right, can teach one all she needs to know about love.

Happy Mother’s Day.

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