Josh and Korey

I have not lived so many years that I can claim to know the most about anything. In fact, I don’t think that anyone can ever safely make that claim. It’s reassuring to me, in a strange sort of way. We’re all students in the school of life, constantly learning and absorbing information. I can hear your thoughts right now, and I know that you want to tell me that there is one topic you are a master of, and that is you. You want me to believe that you know yourself better than any other person.

Only I don’t believe you. I don’t believe you because I look around me and I see that this is certainly not the norm. I don’t believe you because I know first hand how hard self-knowledge is to earn. I’ve had to work at it, and you should, too. It’s not a given. And I consider myself to be not only a very honest but a perfectionistic person, prone to pointing my own faults out to myself and punishing myself for them. Suffice to say that I have made a misstep, not only do I realize it, but I’m currently replaying it in my mind and imaging a better ending than the one I had chosen. I’m punishing myself relentlessly for these things, even now. So when I am told that any of us are experts on ourselves I suppose I laugh inside. I’m not trying to tell you that I am the most self-aware person in the world but I am trying to say that I’m working on it. And I know that’s a lot more than most are doing.

Here’s the thing: owning up to your mistakes will set you free.

Free from what, you ask? Not free from the burden of guilt! Not free from the embarrassment that comes of admitting your humanity and proclivity to mistakes! Free yourself, I urge you, from the burden of self-denial, from the embarrassment of ignorance. Are you tempted to stop reading now? I hope you don’t.

I have gained some insight on taking responsibility for your actions. It’s helped me and so I want to share it. To own up to your faults IS truly freeing. To live in self-denial just sickens your soul. You can run, but you can’t hide from the truth. You know, somewhere deep down, that it exists, and yet you try to hide from it. In its stead, you blame others and make excuses, and this only hurts you further. It hurts YOU, as I said, because it’s also painfully obvious to other people that this is what you are doing. It really is – I remember that much from Psych 101 my freshman year. It’s a crutch. It’s also embarrassing.

Owning up to who you are, where your faults lie and how you can improve them is also empowering. It’s mature and healthy. It says “I can be imperfect and I can be okay. I can let go and love myself.” Doesn’t that sound nice?

What does it look like? I would have to say it typically looks like an apology. Although sometimes, often times, there is no injured party, and it looks like some serious self-reflection and admitting some hard truths that you’d rather not own up to. But I promise, it will set you free.

So ask yourself this today: do I know myself?

Was the process to get to know yourself difficult? If not, try harder. You owe yourself that much, because you are fantastic. If I’ve made an effort to get to know you, I feel it’s worthwhile. 🙂