He loves these Baby Legs as arm warmers. I don’t know why.
warm
Well, I’m sorry to have noticed a week late that I didn’t finish this post.
Of course, I was quite busy last Friday, flying to Detroit and all.
Anyhow, 22 weeks! Here’s the latest news:
Baby is moving a lot. It is the best. I have already forgotten about whatever was bad about being pregnant (throwing up?) 🙂
I am currently craving cereal with strawberries and bananas. In a way that a single day without having this for breakfast is unimaginable. I will go to great lengths to procure good strawberries. I’m using plain Cheerios at the moment, but just so we all know, I would prefer something sugary. Just say no!
I think I was tired, you know, before I got flu that has taken me out of commission for days. Before flying to Michigan and arriving at 1:30 am on Saturday just to leave there Sunday at 4:00 pm. I think I was going to tell you that I was tired.
I’ve been rather cranky. I hate to admit this…and it could just be life and exhaustion and the zaniness of living with a toddler, but it’s true. I’ve had a few moments where I just. Can’t. Deal. This didn’t ever happen to me when I was pregnant with Jacob, but life was much different then… Hehe.
Oh my hands still get numb, my feet hurt, and I have a lot of round ligament pain, but overall I would say I’m doing pretty great. The flu took me off of my feet for three straight days, and I’m still feeling quite poorly, but that’s just the flu on a compromised immune system. I’m actually really grateful that it hit as I was leaving Michigan and didn’t interrupt my brief time there.
Baby is as big as a papaya, but much more active! Imagine a kickboxing papaya…especially after I drink orange juice.
We still haven’t settled on a name. I imagine we will at some point…
Winter wonderland…
We celebrated early, since I will be in Michigan for my grandma’s funeral on Saturday. Our day involved a party at school, a visit from Mimé, love-y hors’d’ouerves, and a special dinner.
Now that I pretty much believe he is real, I have bought two onesies for baby O2. I still don’t really see myself having two children, or having a newborn again (SO SCARY), but part of my brain has accepted the fact that he is most likely going to be joining us this June. I am excited to get out all of the cute and carefully cleaned and packed-away clothing that once was Jacob’s, but I thought the little guy could use some clothes of his own. I don’t want to not celebrate his life…I do think all babies should be celebrated, and I’m finding my own ways to do that. 🙂
I also worry that Jacob, being a December baby, had very different clothes than what this one will need. When I get things out…well, let’s worry about that another day. I have enough to worry about. Without further ado…
What do you think?
I find myself at a loss, in a loss.
My amazing grandmother passed away on Sunday night. I have been so busy trying to get ready to fly to Detroit for the funeral that I haven’t had much time to process this. All I have thought so far is that I wish I had called more, asked more questions, remembered more. No matter what, I know I would want more time. It’s the cliche’ thing everyone says when they experience a loss: I wish I could say goodbye.
For now, I have memories, and I am grateful for them. We had recently talked, and had a great conversation. I will carry with me the things she said: that she was proud of me, that I am a good mother, that she misses me, and also that she feels she’s missed out on so much. And that’s the part that hurts. It’s hard being halfway across the country. We used to write, I would try to send pictures when I thought of it, but it’s not the same. I’m so grateful that I took Jacob to meet her last year. I just wish I had gone 50 more times and seen her.
The lesson to you, of course, is one you know all too well. Hug them. Tell them how you feel. Live each moment like it could be your last, or theirs. Enjoy more. Worry less. Life is too short. While we know that the natural path of life brings us loss, it’s not any easier with time. Nothing truly prepares you to lose someone you love.
Josh and Korey 